so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
