I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
