I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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