im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
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Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
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We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize