Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There's always time for handjobs
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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