Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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