I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
