Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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