Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
