I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
