The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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