well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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