You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
