Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
