im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
