i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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