You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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