I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
