I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
