the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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