So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
did i walk over a car last night?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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