rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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