Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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