I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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