I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
