im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize