Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
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Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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