I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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