im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
