I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
