So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
