if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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