I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
