It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
