genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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