at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
