I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
