census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
