have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
