# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
