it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
