I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
