oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
