I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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