i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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