i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize