Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
