there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
