he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
