Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
there was a trapeze. enough said
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I want a musical about memes.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
