Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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