With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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