I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize