Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
