Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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