I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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