Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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