but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
