I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
