ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
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I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.