Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.