Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes

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(434): View more from Virginia

I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me

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(540): View more from Virginia

My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.

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(631): View more from New York

he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.

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