cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?