Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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