Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.

Fav 9 1648 759
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.

Fav 12 8791 1408
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

Fav 35 5928 2612
share tweet
(641): View more from Iowa

just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now

Fav 12 5386 1583
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(856): View more from New Jersey

nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends

Fav 16 1516 8169
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.

(1-708): View more from Illinois

ahaha ok

(708): View more from Illinois

let's call it "werewolfing"

Fav 6 3079 1116
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.

Fav 2 1298 1021
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.

Fav 9 1419 882
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.

Fav 0 351 482
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT