so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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