I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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